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If you take Viagra with iron supplements it will cause you spin around and point North.
Ain’t no sandwich when she’s gone.
I love you more than I hate everyone else.
DRINK BEER SAVE WATER..www.godrunk.com
I used to make fun of my dog for barking at dogs on TV until I caught myself in the car pulling over for a siren on the radio.
Kids are like debit cards. I get yelled at when I accidentally leave them at the store.
Stages of Drunk: 1. Wow. I can dance. 2. All hats look GOOD on me. 3. Shhh. Don`t wake up the cows.
Whoever said you can`t "like" your own status is just not awesome enough to do it.
Why aren`t we letting blind people think that dragons are real?
It was so cold today the local flasher was caught "describing" himself to women.
Make BIG mistakes in life. Those people are remembered forever. On Youtube.
You don’t truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine.
Whoever convinces blind people that they need sunglasses,, is one heck of a salesman....
Can you make garlic bread out of frozen waffles? Asking for someone who wishes they had remembered garlic bread at the store.
What`s this g-mail? I just got used to e-mail. And why did they skip f-mail?