Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"I have almost $67 in the bank!" sounded a lot more impressive when I was 12.
If the planet is 4 billion plus yrs old. Is 2017 really the correct new year.
No, I didn`t say I was a taxidermist. I said, I can stuff your beaver.
I`m just a man standing in front of a woman, who is standing in front of another man who is in front of another woman in line at Taco Bell.
We`re sorry to announce that due to budget cuts the beloved carol "Silver Bells" will be replaced with the more cost effective carol "Aluminium Bells".
The only person whom a woman listens carefully & follows sincerely & does exactly as he says is a photographer
I have enough leftover Halloween candy to get me to leftover Valentine`s Day candy time.
I need professional help. A chef and a butler should do it.
My 13yo just dumped his girlfriend and now he`s attempting to get his hoodie back. He`s in for one hell of a life lesson.
Afraid of not getting what you ordered when online shopping…..Ha, try online dating
I bet someone could get really rich opening a business that untangles Christmas lights!
They call them heated seats because rear defroster was already taken
Man, just think how crazy Gollum goes on the 5th day of Christmas.
There’s a police helicopter above my house right now, so I’m cashing in and calling everyone who has ever said “when pigs fly.”
NASA has confirmed that December 21, late afternoon, the sky will be very dark. It is an interesting phenomenon called "night".