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You all take typos way too serious, you gays.
If my superpower was to be able to stop time, I`d totally use it to take a nap without people noticing.
Do people who run know that we’re not food anymore.
Did you ever notice that the doctor’s bill is always a lot more readable than the doctor’s prescription?
I only accept apologies in cash.
I never thought I’d be the type of person who would get up early in the morning to exercise. I was right.
Your so vain...you probably think this post is about you
Sarcasm is like a good game of chess. Most people don`t know how to play chess.
If I had to choose between Star Wars and Star Trek, I`d probably choose beer.
I’ve already decided, if I ever go to The Price Is Right, I’m gonna “come on down” whether they call my name or not.
Some people think I say inappropriate things...I perfer to think of it as being f*cking honest.
I’m so broke this New Years Im gonna party like its $19.99.
I`m not saying you`re stupid; you just have bad luck when it comes to thinking.
why we do not have a romance class...............
I don`t drink to feel better about myself. I drink to feel better about being with you