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If you think this status is funny someone you hate will step on a lego.
Taco Bell is donating burritos to feed firefighters in Colorado. Talk about putting gas on the fire,
I am out of wine, so I ate a bag of grapes and threw myself down the stairs.
Insanity means never having to say “I’m Guilty”.
If you’re going to walk a mile in my shoes… Can you pick me up some beer on your way back?
Did you ever think that one day you would be this addicted to reading and writing?
Holding my breath until someone likes this status.
I got a letter in the mail saying I was pre-approved for a Walmart Credit Card. Not sure if I should be honored or ashamed.
There is a method to my madness….and as soon as I figure out what the hell it is, I’m gonna be friggin’ unstoppable
I enjoy a bit of unnecessary swearing as much as the next f*cker.
Are you supposed to wear the fanny pack over the gut or underneath it? I don`t want to look like a dork.
You use Google every day but I bet you can’t remember the order of the colors.
It’s getting really annoying how eating makes you gain weight..
All I know about sex is from Internet Porn, I`ve tried everything except `Buffering`.
I hope daylight savings time hasn`t thrown you off your schedule of doing nothing.