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When it comes to bug protection, you just can`t beat "OFF!".
Goodnight friends, strangers, pervs, weirdos and a$$holes, and anybody else I left out.
"Stay out of the heat & stay hydrated." Thank you news-anchor. It`s my first summer.
I hope your day is as nice as your butt.
Just think about all the stuff you aren`t thinking about.
For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.
I bet people don’t understand that I’m joking 800% of the time.
My girlfriend asked me to send some dirty pics. So I sent her a picture of my sink full of dishes. :)
Life really is all down-hill once you get to big too ride in the shopping cart
I hate when the weather man says there is a chance of sprinkles in the forecast...makes me want donuts!!
Sometimes people come into your life and they need to stop doing that
Fat, single and ready for a Pringle.
GF - What`s that beeping? Me - Fasten Seatbelt Alarm. GF - How can you ignore something so annoying? Me - Huh?
Born free. Now, I’m expensive.
I`ve been single for a while and I have to say, it`s going very well. Like... It`s working out. I think I`m the one.