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The pollen levels are so high this year that it has the crackheads trying to convert their meth back into Sudafed...
At hotels, you can either take a helicopter tour of the city or drink the bottle of water on the table. They cost the same.
Alright, I admit it. Sometimes when I wave my hands in the air, I actually do care.
I make way more decisions than I should based on the battery life of my phone.
I’m glad you’re learning to laugh at yourself. That was kind of getting awkward for the rest of us.
Ladies, life is short. So buy the shoes!
I’d like to hang out, but that would get in the way of me being home and doing absolutely nothing.
Although tequila is highly toxic, it can be used to dissolve the friend zone.
You know you`re married when you find her sexier with clothes on.
Marriage: When dating goes too far.
Jack daniel was found dead by johnie walker at castle strt under savanna tree,captain morgan believed dat he was killed by strongbow.his 4cuzns said that he was best in j&b club at knights...
I hope manners is the next cool trend.
My mind says go to the gym but my heart says food.
Well the Christmas tree is out of the house, and back on the rear view mirror.
I`m motivated by a need to leave something meaningful in the world & a profound desire to shove it in the face of anyone who`s rejected me.