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A lot of people are very competitive when playing stupid.
I`ve decided to go my own way and think "inside the box" to be different ... Wow its dark in here!
Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it? Asking for a friend
A kleptomaniac in a bakery really takes the cake
My greatest fear is standing on stage in front of millions while my Google search history is read aloud...
Walmart killed the traveling circus.
Tonight`s good mood is sponsored by ... Beer!!
Dog Found: Now we are bros, so he`s staying. Don`t call, don`t make it weird.
If a man doesn`t drink when he`s living, how in the hell can he drink when he`s dead?
Monopoly: Destroying friendships since 1904
U still drunk from last night or did u get a new buzz going this morning.
Babies are so cute because none of them are mine.
Best thing to do when you`re stuck in a group text is to to throw your phone in the street and start a new life and maybe get some chipotle
Every conversation should come with a snooze button. That way if you`re being too boring, I can push a button and keep you from talking for the next 10 minutes.
Million Dollar Idea: A restaurant that offers Coke and Pepsi....