Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it. I am totally fleible.
this one time I was in a bush, and this squirrel was like hey, and I was like hey you can`t talk to me your a squirrel and he was like yea I know lmao
I just burnt my tongue on my food. It made me realise that it’s the ones we love that hurt us the most.
Just because leggings stretch dont mean yo 465 pound a$$ should be in them!
The early bird gets the worm. But the rest of the birds can get McGriddles until 10:30.
I have never faked a sarcasm in my entire life!
I need my coffee before I start pretending to work.
If pi is 3.14, then I think .99 is a good deal for 2 doughnuts.
I`m proud to announce that I`m still the undefeated champion at racing with drivers who don`t know we`re racing.
In my will, I´m giving $50 to anyone who wears a Scream costume to my funeral and doesn´t say a word.
There`s a warning light on my dashboard of a vague exclamation point. It`s like when my girlfriend was mad at me and she wouldn`t say why.
We would like to thank everyone that submits statuses to the site. Many get rejected because we don`t think they are funny, or they are unreadable, or they are to inappropriate and offensive.
I love how television has redefined the word `marathon` to the exact opposite of physical exercise
Don´t you just hate it when people say stuff in their status that you really didn´t want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poop.
<-- Is my name! Isn`t it awesome!?