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The world would be a much nicer place if everyone took a chill pill. It would be even better if some of them choked on it.
Why isn’t “cheating” a relationship status on Facebook?
The best thing about the internet is how quickly you can offend the maximum amount of people with minimum effort
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. “Alright, get in the basket”
According to these court documents, the way to a woman`s heart isn`t through her bedroom window.
If there`s one thing I`ve learned hiking, it`s the early bird gets the face full of spider webs
That moment when you are having a conversation in your head and you realize you are making faces that go along with the silent conversation.
Why are people with BAD breath always wanting to tell me a secret?
If you need time alone, announce that it`s time to clean the house.
I got in the shower with my slippers still on this morning. Is this the start of dementia or the continuum of stupidity I wonder?
"keep moving.....nothing to see here"
Say what you want about the porn industry. But they are hard workers.
Immature: A word boring people use to describe fun people.
Before I stalk someone, I follow them around for a while...Cause you know, what if they`re not worth it?
There should be a law requiring the cashier to high five you every time you buy a box of condoms.