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Would you like to donate $1 to this charity or leave the checkout line feeling like human scum?
There`s no law against twerking...but apparently it`s still frowned upon during jury duty.
Yeah he`s still bugging me...he thinks Harass is two words.
Stages of beard length: 1.) sexy stubble 2.) sea captain beard 3.) prisoner of war beard 4.) homeless person beard 5.) wizard beard
why would you go outside? that`s where bugs live
All men approve of premarital sex......until they have a daughter.
The leading cause of divorce ? ... marriage
I used to date a magazine editor. But, I broke up with her because she just had too many issues. No YOU shut up!
So many Jehovah`s Witnesses and yet still not a shred of Jehovah`s Evidence.
I just googled "Is there really cowbell in the actual song Don`t Fear the Reaper?" and my first response was, "Go outside and do something."
If I ever post something on Social media sites that`s not funny or clever, That just means someone hacked my account, Just Saying!
I wonder how many people die each year as a result of lifeguards running in slow motion.
How many times do I have to say "excuse me" before "get the f*ck out of my way" becomes acceptable?
You mean you can actually put the cork back in a wine bottle? WHY!!??
I wish I had Dora`s mom and dad, they let that girl go everywhere.