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There is no such thing as bad luck, there is good luck and life!
I always close my eyes when I kiss a woman. Experience tells me that if my eyes are open, I get a lot more pepper spray in them.
The bat signal seems pretty useless if they need Batman during the day.
How about putting that screaming kid on vibrate
Your family tree must look like a cactus........everybody on it is a pr!ck
It`s unfortunate that most people will never run out of things to say.
One day we the women will rap the men lets see how they like it!
I may have let you down, but it`s your fault for having such high hopes.
An empty web browsing history is a sure sign of guilt.
Just read a book on quantum evolution. The idea is that quantum mechanics are involved in the process of evolution. I still say go to WalMart and then try to sell me on evolution....
No, whenever there`s trouble, YOU always seem to be around ... officer.
Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.
My girlfriend said if this gets 100 thumbs up we`ll try anal. So please don`t vote, her strap on is huge and it really scares me.
I don’t know how many girls it takes to change a lightbulb but I guarantee you they’d post pictures of them doing it on Facebook.
I mixed Taco Bell sauce into my Ramen Noodles, It tastes exactly like poverty.