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Just curious, when pirates use text, IM or twitter, do they used emoticons` like .) .P .D or .( or do they try to fool us by using the two eyed ones?
I wouldn`t say I`m an alcoholic. I`d slur it.
Some things get in the way of my happiness, so I ignore them.
We can operate a robot on another planet, but yet I`m still struggling to get this vending machine to take my wrinkled dollar.
Why isn’t “cheating” a relationship status on Facebook?
I`m pretty sure my Internet Explorer “error reports” end up the same place my letters to Santa do.
I just ended a 5 year relationship. Luckily it wasn`t mine.
Ladies, when a creepy guy asks for your # and hands u his phone, text REDCROSS to 90999 so he`ll donate $10 to Disaster Relief.
If you have trouble getting your children`s attention, just sit down and look comfortable.
Men think they have it bad, but they`re not the ones having to hold their boobs when they run.
I`ve always wondered why they don`t have a pregnant Barbie doll? Turns out Ken comes in a different box...
Dear Car driving 40mph on the highway this morning. It`s only a 1/4“ of snow plus you have a "Jesus Fish" on your bumper. You`ll be just fine.
My mind has a mind of its own.
What am I doing with the rest of my life? I don`t even know what I`m doing with the rest of this post...
If you live up be 100, you should make up some fake reason why, just to mess with people… like claim you ate a pinecone every single day.