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Apparently I`m the only one that wants to drink beer at this intervention.
One thing`s for sure when I shower with my boyfriend. My titties are spotless!!
This day needs more tomfoolery!
Well that`s a wrap on another day where I act like I know what I`m doing.
If Trump wins I`m leaving the country. If Hillary wins I`m leaving the country. This is not a political post, I just want to go on vacation.
How many selfies does it take to get to the center of attention?
I`ll decide whether it`s a compliment or sexual harassment.
Moms birthday is next week. I can’t find a card that says “I wish you loved me more than vodka.”
A sheep walks into a bar. Lots more sheep follow, the barman counts them and falls asleep, the sheep help themselves to free drinks. Genius.
It may appear like I`m doing nothing, but i`m actively waiting for my problems to go away!!!
I believe in karma which means I can do bad things to people all day long and just assume they deserve it.
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and then six months later you have to do it all over again.
In my will, I´m giving $50 to anyone who wears a Scream costume to my funeral and doesn´t say a word.
My wife says I`m a clueless idiot. I didn`t even know I had a wife.
I lifted my hands up in the air and waved them like I just didn`t care.....Ceiling fan: 6 Me: 0