Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Was the little pig who decided to built his house out of straw some sort of f***ing idiot?
I ate cereal for dinner because I do what I want. I`m an adult. Oh did I say adult? I meant poor. It`s because I`m poor.
Wanna screw with your idiot friends on Facebook? Post that Obama passed a law to stay in office a third term this morning. Praise Jesus.
I don`t care if you`re here to murder me - we take our shoes off in this house.
My high school girlfriend got "uses her kids as her facebook profile picture" fat.
Just had workplace violence training. It`s like HR doesn`t even care about the first rule of fight club.
The Walking Dead reminds you that other people would still be your biggest problem even if most of them died.
If the shoe fits, wear it. Unless they`re not yours. But you can still were them. It`s just a road test, after all.
When people ask how my childhood was, I say "Pretty good, so far."
The bright side of getting attacked by a Cyclops is only having to use half the pepper spray.
Not now, I`m busy bringing shame to my family on the internet.
I could be a morning person....if morning happened around noon.
Nice try, Henry Winkler, but I’m not inclined to take mortgage advice from a guy who lived above the Cunningham’s garage for like ten years.
There are 10 types of people in the world, Those that understand binary, and those who don`t.
I just googled, "understanding women," the computer crashed.