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Wanna screw with your idiot friends on Facebook? Post that Obama passed a law to stay in office a third term this morning. Praise Jesus.
Ah Friday...my second favorite "F" word!
I`ve been spending so much time on Facebook, that I forgot the internet has porn.
If one of your life goals is to fight with someone about how to load a dishwasher, may I suggest marriage.
The dentist told me I need to be more aggressive when I floss so I`ve decided to start growling.
I don`t know if I should tip the bathroom attendant, or charge for letting him watch...
Any amusement you may have experienced from my past posts are in no way a guarantee of future performance.... Please initial here and sign here.
I just encountered a spider bigger than my desire to be the man of the house.
The doctor said I should be drinking more whiskey. Also, I’m calling myself “the doctor” now.
I want to live in a world where the Food Network delivers.
My love for you is beyond words so don’t expect a Valentine’s Day card from me.
The key to a successful relationship: Tools > Internet Options > Clear history.
Is anyone going to tell America`s funniest videos about YouTube?
The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza…
You sure do seem to know a lot about love and relationships for someone who spends 22 hours a day on Facebook.