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I walked into a bar in my pirate suit and a ships wheel in my pants.... The bartender asked... "Why do you have a wheel in your pants"? I replied "Argh.. it`s driving me nuts".
Right now I`m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I`ve forgotten this before.
That weird feeling when you wake up from a nap & you don`t whether it`s am or pm or what day, month, or year it is.
I bet everyone in Gotham prisons really hates the guy that killed Bruce Wayne`s parents.
How many boxes of these Thin Mints do I need to eat before I start seeing results?
Im 6`1", blue eyes, light brown hair, fit, own my own compa......oh crap, wrong website, sorry.
I always give my extra money to Charity. She is usually on the main stage around 11pm.
The pizza guy just said "see u tomorrow" ...
I was going to change my profile pic to a pumpkin for Halloween, but it didn`t look that much different from my actual head.
This drag race is not at all what I expected. Are they in dresses inside of the cars, at least?
Was up all night wondering, why do people compliment me for having all my sh!t together & yet still insult me for being full of it?
I`ll never fall in love untill and unless love falls on me!
Always carry a knife. You never know when cake might happen.
You want me to smile? How can I smile when 28% of Americans aren`t getting enough fiber?
Forget Klondike, you should see what I`d do for an open bar.