Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m trying to save up enough money to one day afford to save up money.
I`m definitely the drunkest person in this ball pit.
If you say married people aren’t having sex, you have obviously never sat in a hotel bar & watched them pick up strangers.
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
is in no shape to exercise
Why can`t my coworkers just play on the Internet like normal people instead of trying to engage me in conversation.
to do list: buy a parrot. teach the parrot to say, "Help!! I`ve been turned into a parrot!"
It`s pretty amazing how many times my daughter likes to say "it`s not fair!" considering she has never had to pay taxes
Tired of those Political Ads on television?...... You may be entitled to compensation.
I feel like landlords who don’t allow dogs but DO allow children, don’t know very much about children.
I think I bought just enough fireworks to get my neighbor to move.
When you leave store without buying anything and all you can think is `keep calm, you`re innocent`.
Fun game: Borrow some tools from your neighbor and return them one by one covered in blood until they move.
The easiest way for me to lose inches is to switch to the metric system.
Thanksgiving: "Let`s give thanks for the stuff we have." Black Friday: "Ok, let`s get all new stuff."