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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I`ve been told my posts are too depressing but what does it matter. We`ll all be dead soon anyway.
With the promise of Free Drinks or Food, I’m willing to go pretty much anywhere.
Would you like to donate $1 to this charity or leave the checkout line feeling like human scum?
I remember, once upon a time... for about 2 seconds... about 13 years ago... I almost gave a damn.
If I could trade places with anyone for a day it would have to be on the day I die. I wouldn`t want to be me on that day.
I’m always impressed when I can stump auto-correct...
The trick to falling asleep is putting your phone down. Unfortunately, that`s not a risk I`m willing to take.
There`s really no telling how successful I could have been if the internet hadn`t been invented...
Why do the 5 seconds I have to wait before I can "skip ad" last 30 seconds?
Hangman was my favorite childhood learning game that promoted hanging someone for a wrong answer.
Apparently, playing dead only works on bears not ex boyfriends.
I love facebook because it helps me remember what I did the night before when I blacked out.
Tonight I`m playing hard to get off the sofa.
I embraced my inner child today and the lil` bastard bit me!
If Shakespeare is correct and "all the world is a stage" then I seriously would like to be in control of that trap door.