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Maybe teenagers just aren`t strong enough yet to remove the sticker from their hat
I`m definitely the drunkest person in this ball pit.
And for my next magic trick, I`ll walk down a street and turn into a bar.
I don`t get offered drugs nearly as often as D.A.R.E. said I would.
Perhaps your whole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others
Men use love to get sex...women use sex to get love...I use coupons to get pizza!
Do you think retailers in Colorado have seen an increase in the sales of Easy Bake ovens and Brownie mix?
If I wasn`t supposed to have vodka for breakfast they shouldn`t have made it taste so good with orange juice.
For those of you who know nothing about pleasing a woman... the G spot is located at the end of the word "shopping".....js
I can almost always tell if a movie doesn`t use Real dinosaurs.
Confession #156: I always prepare myself before stepping on the escalator
Merry Christmas week! The time when it’s totally fine to put Peppermint Schnapps in your coffee every morning!
My wife asked me to load the dishwasher. So I poured her some shots and told her to start drinking. And that`s how the fight started.
Isn`t it weird that a vacuum cleaner isn`t something that is used to clean vacuums?
I finally overcame my fear of skinny dipping. Unfortunately it cost me my YMCA membership.