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Just for kicks I posted "I won the LOTTERY" on Facebook. One girl liked it, then replied to the inbox message I sent her in 2010. *Blocked*
I didn`t get a chance to do yoga this morning or any other morning of my life.
I just got gas for $1.79... Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.
I pack an hour before leaving for a trip but unpacks 3 months after coming home
I`m not insulting you, I`m describing you.
Don`t give me a sec, give me lots of secs.
My business card is just a label I peeled off a beer bottle.
If Trump wins I`m leaving the country. If Hillary wins I`m leaving the country. This is not a political post, I just want to go on vacation.
Grabbing a drink after work is perfectly fine.However, you look like an alcoholic when your getting that drink at 6am.
You should never lie through your teeth. Open your mouth and speak properly.
Sixth in line to the throne takes on a different meaning when you’re not in the royal family but in a dive bar.
The wife almost caught me browsing on Facebook, but I quickly clicked over to a porn site. That was close.
The Kids today just don`t appreciate the colors and flavors of Dial soap like I do
This is supposed to be funny but I got nothing but do me a favour and like this...Yeah, okay, IM DESPERATE -.-
I can`t turn water into wine, but I can turn vodka into dinner