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"Just be yourself" doesn`t work if you suck.
I force my dog to watch animal abuse commercials just to show him how good he has it.
I love finding money in my clothes. It`s like a gift to me... from me. :)
I don`t think boredom gets enough blame for the trouble it causes.
Cool thing about winter is after grocery shopping your car can double as your refrigerator.
Sometimes I like to take a roll of duct tape and use it to cover up all the Mondays on my desk calendar.
Here`s a joke for all you mind readers...
I feel so lazy.. Lazy as the guy who created the Japanese flag
It`s not that I CAN`T be good, it`s that I`m SOOOOO much better at being BAD!!!
Money went much further in the 1980s when you could peel the price stickers off milk cartons and stick them on anything you needed
If Facebook has taught us anything, it`s that a lot of people are not quite ready for a Spelling Bee.
ever wonder if one day somebody will come knocking on your door and say “Hey we have 7 mutual friends on Facebook, can I come in?"
Before Walmart you had to buy a ticket to the fair to see a bearded lady!
Does the employee manual say I CAN`T set up my camping tent inside my cubicle? No? Then please step outside & zip the door up behind you.
You seem awesome. I can`t wait to find out what I hate about you.