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I know a lot of women who should substitute their lipstick with glue sticks.
Pretty cool how the internet lets you stay connected with people you haven`t seen in years and silently judge them on a daily basis.
I advise you...don`t mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.
Getting back with your ex is like taking a shower and putting back on your dirty underwear.
It`s like my kids don`t even believe how cool I was in the 80s.
I`m pretty sure by now “lazy” is just part of my personality description.
Quick question, ladies: If you shave your eyebrows off and then draw them back on, what the heck are you doing?
Forget resolutions, Imma just say from now on... TGIS "Thank God I Survived" ! :)
2015 and still no thieves interested in my identity.
Life Tip: Hang out with people who make you forget to look at your phone.
Pregnancy test confirmed me my worst fear.......I`m just fat
My nickname at work is "HR wants to see you"
Happy birthday you motor boatin SOB! Have a great day
Our kids biggest challenge will be to find a username that`s not already taken.
wishes that more people would declare thumb wars these days. I`m sure that all this texting has prepared my thumb muscles for battle.