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Meanwhile, Somewhere farther down on your timeline, your aunt just posted the "Footprints" poem on your wall again.
Welcome to my Facebook wall. Straight jackets are on your left, meds are on the table, and if you hurry, you can still get a seat in group therapy . . . have fun!
My mom put shredded carrots in our Jello, so don`t tell me about your rough childhood.
Thanks to Facebook i now know what everyones bathroom looks like.
Sure, I can speak Spanish... "Margarita!"
I`m not the sort of person you should put on speakerphone.
I did not trip...the floor looked like it needed a hug.
Interesting fact: Prior to the creation of hummus and ranch dressing nobody ate uncooked vegetables.
I didn`t break the rules. They were broken when I got here.
It`s hard to be a good person when kids fit so perfectly into trash cans.
They should just block cell phone service in movie theaters. Problem solved.
That awkward moment when you sing the wrong part of a song with confidence.
Maybe don`t show me a picture if you don`t want me to rate your baby.
LIFE HACK: Sneak into doctor`s waiting rooms instead of subscribing to magazines.
I hate when I`m about to hug someone really sexy, and my face hits the mirror.