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Ambulance is spelled backwards on the front so when you look in your rearview mirror you don`t confuse it with the other giant siren cubes.
I think the only way I’ll ever be motivated to go to the gym is if I’m in prison.
If you see me smiling it`s because I`m thinking of doing something evil or naughty ... If you see me laughing it`s because I`ve already done it
It`s not the torch she carries for me that has me worried, it`s the gas can in her other hand.
I love everyone these days... Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others, I`d love to punch in the face...
The best part about living by myself is not having to explain a lot of things......a LOT of things.
I’d get a lot more sleep if I didn’t insist on reading the entire internet every night.
Don`t do it in the Garden, they say love is blind but ur neighbor ain`t.
There is no peer pressure like washing your hands because someone else walked into the bathroom.
I make a great second impression.
The only clubs I’m into are sandwiches.
News flash! someone just found Carmon Sandiego!
Walmart has their new Savings Catcher app... I`m thinking savings isn`t the only thing you will catch ...
Whoever said "money doesn`t grow on trees" has obviously never sold weed.
If a cop ever asks me to count from 100 backwards ...I just get in the back seat