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I had been dreaming about eating a giant marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was gone! :O
they say there`s love in every corner....gosh I think I`m moving in circles
I feel like dinner parties are secretly competitions about who watches the most news and documentaries
One thing I`ll never understand is alcohol free wine
If you read the instructions carefully, the first step to making any microwavable lunch is to throw away the box and dig it out of the trash.
Dear YouTube, I will always “Skip this ad.”
If heat makes things expand, then I don`t have a weight problem ... I am just Hot!
Have you ever noticed how people who play candy crush are always saying they need a life?
My mother in law called me today and said? ”Come quick. I think I’m dying” I said, ”Call me back when you’re sure”.
Sometimes I wrestle with my demons. Other times we just snuggle.
I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says “haha good one” and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
Does anyone else wonder why naked and baked, 2 words that go together SO well, don`t rhyme?? ...I mean, who comes up with these words anyway? lol
Part of me wants to help you with your crisis, but part of me wants to go to happy hour.
Call me old school, but I think your shorts should be longer than your private parts.
Not to brag, but, I`ve already consumed 174% of my daily fat requirement.