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Who do Walmart shoppers make fun of?
I miss being the age when I thought I would have my sh!t together by the age I am now.
Facebook is my serious account, the funny one is my bank account.
I’m not shy. I’m just holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.
Running away does not help with the problems unless you are fat
Whew! Thank you warning label I was actually considering using my new floor lamp in the shower.
You know that tingly feeling you get when you have a crush on someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.
My boyfriend asked me why I bother watching cooking shows when I cant cook so I asked why he bothered watching porn.
The best curve on a woman is her smile :) ...Hahahaha lmao! No I`m kidding, it`s her boobs.
The only sit up I do is the one I use to get out of bed.
I`m pretty sure even Santa wishes they would stop playing Christmas music on the radio this time of year.
If owls are so smart, how come they don`t say "Whom"?
I always drink responsibility I make sure that someone is responsible for buying me drinks.
I lost my ladder when I was very young but I was fortunate to have such a great step-ladder to raise me ...anytime I couldn`t reach anything
has a drinking problem...I can`t afford it