Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
ASKHOLE: A person who constantly ask for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them
SCIENCE FACT: If you close your eyes, you won`t be able to see.
If your dog weighs less than 10lbs, it`s technically a cat
How many divorced guys does it take to change a lightbulb?...........Who cares, they NEVER get the house anyways.
I`m not sure what my spirit animal is, but I`m sure it has Rabies.
If you ever question yourself, your life choices, your sanity...just watch an episode of Hoarders and you`ll be all good.
It`s not a mental breakdown if the police wasn`t called.
If you have attention deficit disorder, throwing boomerangs isn`t for you.
I can eat anything in the house unless it was specifically bought for my wife but the only way to know it`s for her is to eat it. Apparently
The trick to successfully backing out of a parking space is to not care what happens to you or anyone else.
Nothing says "I love you" like my cat aggressively bathing itself immediately after I pet her.
The Kids today just don`t appreciate the colors and flavors of Dial soap like I do
I have nothing!
I like people the most when I`m by myself.
Releasing a long silent fart as I walk through first class on the way to my economy seat is definitely my favorite part of boarding an aircraft.