Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I purchased my own Taser off the internet the other day. In a totally unconnected incident, I´ve got to buy a cat to replace the neighbors one this afternoon.
When I die, I don`t want to go sober...
If I were my boss, I`d never leave my coffee cup unattended.
Why do prostitutes charge per hour? I mean, what are we supposed to do for the other 57 minutes?
Scientists uncovered the part of the male brain responsible for pissing off women. It’s next to the part that knows how much roses cost.
I`m not "rich" ... But, actually, it depends on how you define wealth. If you`re talking about money, relationships, or happiness, then no still
My head says go to the gym. My heart says food.
I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I`m not the only one asking google stupid questions.
Facebook crushes are all fun and games until someone buys a plane ticket.
I hope this snowstorm doesn`t impact my schedule of aimlessly wasting my day online.....
Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they`d lock us up?
I hate getting paid and being broke all in the same day!! :(
MY MISSION IS COMPLETE!!! I have successfully wasted a little bit of your time today :) carry on!
I`ve given up on giving up.
I thought 50 shades of gray was just a makeup application guide for goth chicks