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Monica & Chandler’s twins would be 9 this year, Pheobe’s triplets 14, Ben 18, and Emma 11. Let’s just take a moment to let that sink in.
I don’t go to bars for the same reason I don’t grocery shop when I’m hungry. I always come home with things I didn’t need.
I’m not a picky eater or anything but I will look at both sides of a Dorito before I eat it to decide if its got a good cheesy dust ratio.
John has 35 candy bars. If John eats 27 of them what does he have? .... Diabetes. John has diabetes.
Never let a medical procedure scare you. That`s what the bill is for.
If you don’t want to marry me, why did you sit next to me on this bus?
I bought a box of "SO CALLED" Hot Pockets --- brought them home, and opened one to eat it, and the Damned thing was FROZEN ----- Miis-Advertizing at it`s BEST!!! Now what do I do with the Damned thing???? :-P
Can only please one person a day. Today isn’t your day
Your shadow is a confirmation that light has traveled nearly 93 million miles unobstructed, only to be deprived of reaching the ground in the final few feet thanks to you
I know two wrongs don`t make a right, obviously. But how many does it take? I`m like on 756.
The hardest part about a Zombie Apocalypse is pretending I’m not excited.
I should go to sleep but the Internet needs me.
Jehovah`s witnesses would probably be welcomed into more houses if they brought booze or cookies.
Traffic would be awesome if we all drove hamster balls.
Just looked at the price of baby strollers. I think were gonna have an indoor baby.