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Immature >>> A word boring people use to describe fun people..
If a girls tongue being pierced really mattered, then I would have my palm pierced!
I slept with my best friend’s wife last night and now I feel terrible. …. ….. She must have given me a cold or something.
I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.
I just saw a 2 or 3yr old boy wearing a t-shirt that says, "if mom or dad wont buy it I`ll just sms grandma and grandpa"
Where 5 minutes becomes 5 hours. Facebook.
If you use the word "gay" to desrcribe something that is "merry or happy" then you`re gay.
I spend the first half of work fantasizing about all the different places I could go for lunch.
Where have you been all my life? ... Please go back there.
If you want to set up a company and run it then that`s your business.
A guy at work calls me "Partner" and another guy calls me "Chief". Apparently we`re playing Cowboys and Indians and I`m a double agent.
Sometimes just to annoy my therapist, I ask him, "So how does my lack of progress make you feel?"
I AM doing something with my life. It’s called screwing around.
Who says I can`t relate to today`s youth? I overheard a teenager saying he loved "riding on E" and I was like "I totally get it, gas is so damn expensive".
My whole life is based on a true story...