Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What I lack in height, I make up for in kitchen counter climbing ability.
I don’t like being told what to do…unless I’m naked.
You never know a person until you walk in their shoes, or until you check their browser history.
I noticed the toilet roll incorrectly installed in your selfie.
I don`t understand why people go to the gym all the time... everything there`s so heavy.
The best thing about telepathy is... I know, right!?
Holding my breath until someone likes this status.
There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing next to you right now, and you`d have no Idea...
Summer needs to slow the hell down.
Pretty sure nobody would run marathons if they were never allowed to talk about running marathons.
I really like ceilings,.. I guess you could call me a ceiling fan.
I`m not a bitch, I just have a low bullsh!t tolerance.
Since everything is closed for Thanksgiving I’m going to drive around and park in all the good spots I never get.
How many Weight Watcher points are in an entire bottle of wine?
i didn`t know i had a facebook account until now