Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I bought a $300 dollar tent so I can camp outside Best Buy for 3 days to save $20 on a TV.
I miss the days when minding your own business was a thing.
The best thing about not being with you, is not being with you.
Smooth move.........ExLax
I wonder if more children were conceived because of alcohol or more alcohol was consumed because of children.
I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness, so I don’t intimidate you..
Life is what happens when you’re not looking at a screen.
When you drink Vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure, When you drink Rum over ice, it can give you liver failure, When you drink Whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems, When you drink Gin over ice, it can give you brain problems. Apparently, ice is really bad for you.
Just think of me as the guy next door. With a telescope.
A tattoo doesn’t tell you very much about a person, but where they put the tattoo does.
Roses are red, so is my wine. Refill my glass and I`ll be just fine.
If I could have sex with anyone, living or dead, I would for sure pick living.
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it´s for them?
My Facebook account would benefit from a breathalyzer-activated password.
If Milli Vanilli were to fall in the woods, would someone else make a sound?