Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Buying new Nikes, call that soul searching
Sometimes I think of something so wrong and inappropriate that my little black heart skips a beat with delight.
Ever wonder if the McDonalds logo is the letter "m" or just an image of your butt cheeks it will cause?
I bought my Ex a chair ... But the state won`t let me plug it in.
Those teardrop tattoos mean you cried during the notebook, right?
Life is like a box of chocolates. They never last as long for fat people.
You couldn`t handle me even if I came with instructions.
Rough day! I have now completed the top 6 things off my to-do list ... Time to go get another six pack I guess.
The queen honey bee has up to 40 sexual partners a day, just like your ex.
She texted me: "your adorable." I replied: "no, YOU`RE adorable." Now she likes me, but all I did was point out her typo.
I hate when the cops throw me in the back of the squad car like they didn’t hear me call shotgun.
Before you have any hope for the future of humanity, come and look at how this guy parked.
I`d engage you in a battle of wits, but I`m afraid you`re unarmed.
I accidentally did yoga once when I couldn`t reach the toilet paper.
If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich