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Insomnia is very common. Try not to lose any sleep over it.
Remember, no matter how bad a day you may be having, no matter how sh!tty a situation you may be in... I`m feeling great. So it`s all good!
If one of your life goals is to fight with someone about how to load a dishwasher, may I suggest marriage.
Just rescued a Coca Cola that was trapped in the fridge!
My favorite thing about naps is that I don`t have to talk to people during them
My Ex texted me."please delete my number."I replied,"Who`s this??"
I was planning on doing something today, but I haven`t finished doing nothing from yesterday.
A moment of silence to all the kids who can’t wait to become a teenager because they think it’s fun..
I`m proud to announce that I`m still the undefeated champion at racing with drivers who don`t know we`re racing.
Bowling is my favorite sport because you don`t have to run and there`s beer five feet away.
what happends when chemists pass away...We Barium.
69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.
I’m looking up in the sky and I have no idea which cloud has all my data
I just need someone to feed me and tell me I’m pretty.
People always ask me, where do I come up with my status`, do I make them up, or do I get them from the internet.. Truth is people. I use Status Enhancing Drugs.