Daily Silly Status

Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: Probably still mirrors.

I`ve noticed more and more little kids with cell phones and social networks. What does a kindergartner have to tweet about? "I`m getting better at drawing in the lines!" #cantwaitforstorytime

A Girl Scout made headlines when she sold cookies outside a Colorado pot shop. There’s no word on how she plans to spend her first million.

According to the squirrel riding a unicycle in my kitchen, I may have taken too much sleep medication.......

Me: But where do you see this relationship in five years? Her: Sir! For the last time, do you want extra cheese or not?

Apparently everyone was too high in the 70`s when Grease came out to notice that every "student" at Rydell High looked like they were 35

I have the worst case of morning sickness. No I am not pregnant, my body just rejects mornings.

The correct answer to "How are you?" is "Fine." If you ever stray from that dialogue, please know that nobody gives a sh!t.

Today is National Fritters Day. I don`t know what that means, so I just went naked today. Gotta be something like that.

For some reason, I`m an extremely secretive person. Don`t ask me why!

I`d like to thanks all the girls for wearing yoga pants. It is the only reason why we`re not complaining about how cold this winter it

There are no words to describe how I feel about you... Good thing God invented the middle finger.

You know it`s cold outside... when you step on dog poop and roll your ankle

Movie comes on while im in bed: ugh ive seen this a million times. Movie comes on before I have to get ready for work: oh hell yea a classic

So today my gym was crowded...at least I think it was a gym...Do gyms usually have drive thrus?