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The toughest part of a job interview is finding the exact right moment to go in for the kiss.
says if you don`t like the way I live my life, than there is some good news... you aren`t me!!
It will be light. It will be dark. It will be light. It will be dark. It will be light. Then I`m back. Me, explaining a vacation to my cat.
Go ahead caller 9!!
I have no super powers. I`m guessing I`m the villain.
lifes like a box of chocolates, never know whatcha gonna get (:
Go ahead, post sober. Ruin everything.
Actually officer, if you factor in the earth`s rotation, we were all speeding.
B!tch Please, your only fan is the one on your ceiling.
Being an American is awesome. The end.
Not only am I a master of suspense, but I
I bought a book on eBay called, "How to scam on eBay". That was 2 months ago, and it`s not arrived yet
Welcome to fight club..., you may now kiss the bride.
I`m just like you ... Only smarter and better looking.
It’s sad how Wile E. Coyote is remembered for his crappy ACME gadgets, and not for his brilliantly realistic paintings of tunnels.