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Next time you think life`s not fair..think of this x large clothes cost $2 more than large so why doesn`t small cost $2 less ? Being fat ....now that`s unfair
Sarcasm: because snapping a neck is frowned upon in a court of law.
Considering I`m broke, I wonder if she`ll let me be her sugar-free daddy.
Who needs a social life when you have Netflix and a fridge full of food?
I’ve never considered myself much of a conspiracy theorist. Then I discovered the letters in Frito Lay could be rearranged to spell Oily Fart- Coincidence?… I think not!!!
I saw the most beautiful painting at the store the other day … but then I realized it was a mirror.
you know why maths is unhappy? because it got so many problems.
Let me just flip this here omelette.... aaaaaand I`m having scrambled eggs
No way the guy from Operation is insured for any of those ridiculous medical procedures.
Sometimes it would be nice if the world had an off switch.
It doesn`t matter if the shoe fits or not, I`m still shoving it up your a$$.
Please no one tell me what happens on the NFL today; I`m still on Season 8.
Only toilet paper deals with more a$$holes than I do.
change your birthday on facebook to today, see how many people say happy birthday for APRIL FOOLS!!!! lol
Cactuses are just heavily armed cucumbers.