Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s not so much blowing my diet as preventing the fudgesicles from developing freezer burn.
Roses are red vilouts are blue your moms beautiful what happened to you!
Anything is possible when you have no clue what you`re talking about
I`ve been hiding from exercise. I`m in the fitness protection program.
People who don’t understand sarcasm are awesome.
The longest yard for me is that space between me and the nacho dip
This Halloween, the only Candy I`m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
I`m kind of like Hugh Hefner. Only without the mansion, the exotic cars, the girls, the magazine and the money. Basically, I`m just a guy in a bathrobe.
Shout out to hotel maids changing sheets on February 15th.
I`m so lonely that my cat owns a cat.
I`m not interested in anything that requires 5 hours of energy.
Its so cold out, I actually saw a gangsta with his pants UP!
That awkward moment when you are killing it on Mario Kart & then realize you are looking at the wrong side of the screen.
My wife told me to strive for perfection, so I divorced her and started dating a swimsuit model.
A roman walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says "Five beers please."