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Drying out wet fireworks in the oven is not a good idea. Trust me on this
"I`d hit that" -old people who drive
I enjoy long walks on the beach and that thing you just did with that banana.
I hate when all the silverware is dirty and I`m down to using the giant decorative fork that hangs on the wall.
It`s crazy that your brain can calculate where to put your hand to catch a 98 mph fastball... But won`t keep your mouth shut when a woman is angry
My girlfriend would be so mad if she found out that I`m telling people she`s my girlfriend.
I wish we had staff meetings in the garden. The plants would`ve love the fertilizer.
Bipolar smile :(: ...... Gets um everytime !
I`ve been hitting "remind me later" for about the last 4 years on Adobe.
I`m often a little confused when people call me insane because, to be honest, I`m still just warming up.
I am as lazy as the guy who designed the Japanses Flag
Do not put off until tomorrow what you can put off indefinitely.
A newly wed guy asked me about marriage. I told him it`s sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can`t really touch anything.
Got a paper cut turning the pages in my self-defense book.
Dear human, you get mad when i wake you up and also get mad when i dont. Sincerely confused, Alarm Clock.