Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
To be truthful,,, I have never unrolled a sleeping bag and been able to roll it back up any smaller than the size of a garage.
I can alwasy tell when movies do not use real dinosaurs
If you think you aren`t creative, buy a gym membership and see how many excuses you find not to use it.
Did anyone hear the one about the cross dresser? The happiest day in his life was when he finally got into his girlfriend`s pants.
Most people decide to have scramble eggs immediately after thinking: "I`ll just flip this omelette"
CAMPING TIP: If you get lost in the woods, a compass can help you get lost more North.
Don`t care what your religious or political beliefs are, if you`re male or female, young or old. I will tackle you hard for that last donut.
I`m not a father, but I have been called "daddy" a few times.
Wouldn`t it be awesome if MTV had a show called "16 and Applying to Colleges"
I saw the city workers putting up a sign on my street and it says Bumpy road ... so I put up a sign that says ,, FIX IT !
never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes
Wish some of my co workers weren`t allowed in the break room... Because that`s who I usually need a break from.
We’ve solved so many world problems, and yet chocolate still has calories.
I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean if you want an autograph or a picture just ask..!
Why does the sound of the recliner opening always remind my wife the trash needs to be taken out?