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People need to stop putting flyers on my car. I don`t want to see a band called "Parking Violation" at the "Courthouse"
Hell is an endless cycle of getting comfortable in bed & then suddenly having to pee.
Before I got married I didn`t even know there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge
So far my bracket is perfect! I can`t wait to fill the rest of it in.
All I`m saying is why blame it on being lazy when you can blame it on being old...
"Three blind mice" is probably the most popular nursery rhyme about animal cruelty
Dear Maytag: Why don`t your dryers have a Fold cycle? It`s 2018 for chrissake!
If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don`t make the rules.
I always stip to help women broke down. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how a good porn starts off.
Me: You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Her: You just want to have sex with me. Me: And you’re smart too, I like that.
1st woman on the Moon.. Houston we have a problem What? Never mind What`s the problem? Nothing Please tell us? You know what the problem is.
I looked up "thesaurus" in my thesaurus and it says "Don`t be a smart-ass".
Weekends r like d salary.. It takes a lot to get thr, & whn it finally does, it`s over in no time ;) - aa
Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.
Not to brag,,,, but legally,,, before something can be labeled "Idiot Proof",,, they have to run it by ME.