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Perhaps Nicki Minaj just lost a series of bets.
I don’t care if it’s 4 A.M. I don’t consider it “tomorrow” until I wake up.
Talked to someone in person today....what a pain in the a$$ that was!
Gatorade always has athletes in their commercials sweating and working hard. They really should target their real consumer. A Fat guy on the couch nursing a hangover. Is it in you?
Parallel lines have so much in common, it`s a shame they`ll never meet
Eventually we’re just gonna have to accept “ducking” is a swear word.
I refuse to jump on the `I hate Mondays` bandwagon. I hate all workdays equally
You`ve been on more hotel pillows then chocolate mints.
It’s what’s on the inside that counts, unless you’re talking about one of those hollow chocolate bunnies.
There’s so many people I’d love to get the silent treatment from
Keep your friends close and your fat friends closer, because snacks.
For Christmas I just want summer...
According to my iPhone Health app, I walked 1,787 steps around this Golden Corral buffet tonight .... So I got that going for me.
just keep scrolling nothing to see hear
The closest I ever got to murdering is when I held a Oreo cookie in milk until the bubbles stop.