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I saw a fat kid sitting on a seesaw all by himself. I stopped and waited for another kid to fall from the sky. I left disappointed.
If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.
Why does the alphabet need to be in order anyway
Good thing all the `Five and Ten` stores closed... They were nickle and diming us to death.
"You have the right to remain silent so as not to incriminate yourself." ~5th Amendment, understood by nobody on Facebook.
I don`t like people who can`t make fun of themselves. It means more work for me.
According to national reports, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low…Well, sure, it’s hard to steal a car when the owner’s living in it…
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Creating a password in this day and age After the 9th try OKNowI`mReallyMad50BoiledCabbagesUpYourArseIfYouDon`tGiveMeAccessImmediately! `Sorry, that password is already in use`
Everyone’s an optimist when it comes to their car’s fuel gauge.
Actually, when I went to New Orleans, I blacked out too.
"Woo, I`m on a roll today, baby!" -butter
I was voted `Most Paranoid` by my classmates at school. Although they never admitted it.
If you`re in WalMart and you`re holding in a fart, just remember, YOU`RE IN WALMART!!
i made a chicken salad the other day. little bastard didn`t even eat it.