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Welcome to Alzheimer`s Club. I see a lot of new faces today.
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
So how long before GoFundMe is our nation`s leading health care provider?
It’s like these fools at the gym have never seen someone with roller skates on the treadmill before.
My mind is exceptionally quiet.... I am suspicious that I am up to something I don`t want myself to know about.
A new study has found that women find it seven times easier to read men’s facial expressions than men have reading women’s. That’s mostly because we’re not looking at their faces ...
Nothing shall separate me from the love of beer...
Does anyone else make transformer noises when changing sex positions? Asking for a friend.
Why does everybody call it a "hot water heater?" It`s really a cold water heater.
I stay up late every night and realize it was a bad idea every morning.
Never forget that we live in a world in which it is easier to get out of a marriage than a mobile-phone contract.
I need to do laundry so bad I`m actually wearing Christmas stockings
If my cats have taught me anything, its how to ignore people.
Where is the button to restart summer?
You`d think the self checkout lanes would have more mirrors.