Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
PRINCIPAL: are you the new english teacher? TEACHER: yes i are.
Of course it`s you. If it was me I wouldn`t even bring it up.
Doctors and scientists agree on the benefits of an afternoon nap, yet still my boss thinks he knows better. Ridiculous.
I have OCD and ADD, so everything must be perfect..but not for very long.
I love you in a bipolar way because I hate you.
iPhone 6: For people who don`t mind holding an iPad up to their ear.
It’s not real love unless you leave your phone in plain sight overnight.
Meanwhile one million men got to enjoy a quiet afternoon at home without anyone nagging them.
I hate it when I`m trying to take a selfie and somebody calls my camera.
Remember, I`m always here if you need shoulders for your ankles to lie on.
I like how the nice people of Sesame Street all know that Oscar the Grouch lives in that can, and yet they still stuff their trash into it.
Sometimes the problem with reality is the lack of background music.
If I keep hitting the treadmill like I do every night, in a few weeks maybe I`ll learn to turn on the light when I get up to pee in the dark
You`re more inbred than sandwhich filler.
Skinny people are bitches. Probably because they`re hungry.