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The worst time to need to sneeze is when you’re driving. The worst time to need to pee it when you’re driving and need to sneeze.
The irony of social media is that the majority of users are all alone.
Is there a way to politely throw breathe mints in someone`s mouth while they`re talking?
A Smart car Zoomed past me And vanished into a pothole.
If you don’t like being tailgated then don’t play movies I like.
Diet plan: make friends fatter
Being married is 90% talking about what to have for dinner.
I wonder if people that live in Hawaii have screensavers of bumper to bumper traffic?
Here`s a joke for all you mind readers...
No thanks, cardio, this pot of coffee will get my heart rate up just fine
I`m still trying to get over the fact that oranges are pre-sliced by nature.
Dear God, I´ve been very good today, no grumpy thoughts, no swearing and I haven´t been mean at all, but I´m about to get up now and I may need your help :)
Save water- shower with me!
You mean you can actually put the cork back in a wine bottle? WHY!!??
How`d this get posted?