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I love work; it fascinates me. I can sit and watch folks do it for hours.
Is "blowjob" one word or two words? God I hate writing thank you cards. -Bfanch
If you surround yourself with people funny enough to make you laugh till your abs hurt, you’ll never have to work out!
Nuclear physicists can be lots of fun. They`re often referred to as the half life of any party.
I can take care of my drunk friends, so the responsibility of having children doesn`t worry me.
I`m so broke right now that if someone tried to rob me, they`d just be practising..
For those who know nothing of how to satisfy a woman: The G spot is located at the end of the word shopping.
You`d think the chances of putting in a USB drive wrongside-up would be 50-50, but nope, 90-10.
I just saw a disclaimer that said “don’t try this at home”, so I tried it at my neighbors house.
Where have you been all my life? Can you go back there?
I have a dream that one day I won`t have to work on MLK Day.
I`d like to thanks all the girls for wearing yoga pants. It is the only reason why we`re not complaining about how cold this winter it
Family and Friends - I am FAR too busy to listen to any of your problems or concerns *Googles do penguins go to heaven?*
I just want to be rich enough to tell my boss, "you`re not the boss of me"!
My version of Heaven would be filled with all the things I`d probably go to hell for.