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People who can finish a shampoo bottle at the same time as their conditioner are truly ninja`s.
I`m going to buy a new dictionary. After watching Final Destination 5, I clearly don`t understand the meaning of Final.
You know its cold out ......when you go outside..... and it`s cold out
I sometimes worries about my short attention span, ...but not for very L... hey! ... look at that squirrel!
It`s time to wave goodbye to winter. Guess what finger I`ll be using?
According to my neighbor`s rooster, it`s 5am now. Also according to my neighbor`s rooster, we`re having fried chicken for dinner tomorrow.
What do people mean "get ready for bed"? I am ALWAYS ready for bed.
I should be asleep, but there are a lot of things I should be.
Now that I know how many calories there are in a pint of beer , I have decided to stop eating.
If I could turn snarky sarcasm into a paying job, I could be employed for infinity.
I bought the world`s worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it`s terrible.
What do you mean casual Friday does not mean drink wine and get drunk at work
I like my coffee like I like my men: caffeinated, made of beans, muscular, tousled hair, you know what, I don`t really know how to do this..
I noticed you’re not yourself today. I really like it.
Safety Tip: lock your doors and windows before bed. Btw, I love what you`ve done with the place.