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My iPhone autocorrected "wish you were here" to "wish you were beer" ... I sent it anyways.
You should probably first master the art of thinking “inside” the box
Debt doesn`t buy happiness either.
One day you will die, but every other day you won’t. So that’s pretty great, right? ... Inspirational posts are hard.
It’s not a great nap, unless you wake up and can’t remember what day it is.
Whenever my son questions my knowledge on any subject, I just remind him that I`m older than the Internet.
I am convinced that Kellogg`s works for our Government and all that Snap, Crackle, Pop is CODE.......
Go ahead, post sober. Ruin everything.
Never date someone that works for your cell phone provider. Just sayin
Walking out of a store after not buying anything and thinking, “try not to act like a criminal, try not to act like a criminal”
I want to lose weight, but I don`t want to get caught up in one of those "Eat right and exercise" scams.
A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s…That’s because she changes it more often.
Played hide and seek today. I was winning until the cops let the K9 off of the leash.
If I`m ever in the hospital on Life Support, don`t just pull the plug. Pull it and plug it back in. Basically, see if you can reboot me.
I need to find a woman that loves me for my money....but doesn`t understand math. (<>..,<>)