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So I´ve narrowed it down and I´m either gonna start a motorcycle gang or take a nap.
Cop: There was no else going anywhere nearly as fast as you! Me: I know. I was winning.
You`re uglier than..... well, you`re the example.
is cuddling up with a good book and a cup of tea. Ah, who am I kidding... I´m looking at Hustler and having a beer.
Doctor: Do you drink alcohol? Me: Why? What`ve you got?
If the wicked witch of the west melts in water ... How did she bathe?
Apparently typos only become visible to the human eye after you hit send.
I`ve been working on losing weight, I was doing Jenny Craig for awhile........till her husband found out (<>..<>)
Some of the happiest years of a woman`s life are when she`s 29.
A procrastinator’s work is never done.
I`ve upped my driving skills, no go Up yours!
I think people who use "go fly a kite" as an insult don`t really understand kites or insults.
I doubt my inferiority complex is as good as everyone else`s
I’m looking up in the sky and I have no idea which cloud has all my data
Billion dollar idea: Meth with Flouride