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Sorry I got drunk and angry and said all those things I meant but still shouldn`t have said.
I`m not a Dr. or a Nutritionist, but I`m pretty sure the worst thing you can put into any high fat/ high calorie dish is your fork.
I wish common sense was more common.
Why is it called stealing when your WIFI is trespassing in my house?
I get very nervous out when my Subway sandwich moves up the crowded assembly line without me.
The cool thing about The Clapper is it doubles as a strobe light during s@x.
Remember, condoms prevent minivans.
A lie is a great story that someone ruined with the truth.
I guess I’ll take my Christmas tree down today.
It`s hard to feel sorry for people when they get what they deserve.
The next time you feel you`re worthless.... just remember.... your organs are worth a LOT of money on the black market.
Time to turn over a new leaf ... With my luck it’ll be poison ivy.
If you think about it, before the first mirror was invented, if you didn’t live near a body of water, you had no idea what you looked like.
I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food. :)
Thank God for Facebook otherwise we would never know what fireworks look like.